Law Is On My Side, But Here’s Your Money Anyway…

February 9th, 2010 White Coat No comments

Sometimes, money isn’t everything. Especially when your new boss is a self-professed psychic/hypnotist that would only hire “believers” to be his slaves, dancing monkeys, employees. After watching him scream at the employee on the phone for an hour then pick up a chair and throw it through the wall of his office…immediately followed by his phone, Zach decided to call it quits. Not wanting to insight his now ex-boss’s ire, Zach decided the safest way to quit would be via e-mail and sent a rather vague “Commute time is too long. Apologies for not working out. Already have new work lined up. Best of luck.” resignation.

Dear Zach,

It is with regret that we acknowledge your resignation, effective February 11, 2008. Since you did not offer us and exit interview, we are offering the following information:

· We have invested over $2000 in hiring, training and expenses to perform shows. You assured us that you would be a better host than who we have now. We felt that we hired a team player.

· We had to cancel 3 shows because of this unfortunate event, which in turn has cost my company over $6000.

· Simplified Entertainment Inc. thought we hired the right person. Unfortunately, this was a very expensive lesson that we will learn from.

· By not full filling terms that you agreed to, you have forfeited any money that may be coming to you. Our records show that there is none.

Sincerely,

Thomas B
President

Mr. B

According to New York State Labor Law statute 191 section 3 “If employment is terminated, the employer shall pay the wages not later than the regular pay day for the pay period during which the termination occurred, as established in accordance with the provisions of this section. If requested by the employee, such wages shall be paid by mail.”

Furthermore, statute 193 states:

“193. Deductions from wages. 1. No employer shall make any deduction
from the wages of an employee, except deductions which:
a. are made in accordance with the provisions of any law or any rule or
regulation issued by any governmental agency; or
b. are expressly authorized in writing by the employee and are for the
benefit of the employee; provided that such authorization is kept on file
on the employer`s premises. Such authorized deductions shall be limited to
payments for insurance premiums, pension or health and welfare benefits,
contributions to charitable organizations, payments for United States
bonds, payments for dues or assessments to a labor organization, and
similar payments for the benefit of the employee.
2. No employer shall make any charge against wages, or require an
employee to make any payment by separate transaction unless such charge or
payment is permitted as deduction from wages under the provisions of
subdivision one of this section.
3. Nothing in this section shall justify noncompliance with article
three-A of the personal property law relating to assignment of earnings,
nor with any other law applicable to deductions from wages.”

This is squabbling over the matter of $375. $150 from the show that I worked on February 1st and the 30 hours I worked in the office from February 4th to the 8th that would amount to $225. Legally, you cannot deduct any wages that have already been made by me.

I’d appreciate not having to take this to the board of labor, as if I had to do that I’d have to disclose any and all poor work practices that I encountered while working there.

In conclusion, I’ll be expecting a check for no less that $375 to be mailed to me postmarked no later than Friday, February 15, 2008.

Sincerely,

Zach”

Zach,

Melissa has given me what is owed to you. It appears to be $382. And yes by the terms of the agreement, the money is forfeited because you did not finish the agreement.

I would like to get some things off my chest…

I am not happy with you on the way you told us you are not going to do shows. Email is such a childish way. It shows me that you lack integrity.

I knew on Friday that you were not comfortable with performing. Remember when we were in my office and I asked you if you have any questions and you said NO that I replied with “I don’t like to hear no, because that tells me there is something wrong, you should have many questions.” Yeah, I knew! Trust me, I know.

No one here is surprised of this. I said to Melissa that you wouldn’t last through the first of March. Once again I was right. I was hoping that you would prove me wrong. You have a nice personality and sold yourself well, but you lack initiative. Work on that and I am sure you will do much better in another career. It takes a special person do be in this high pressure business. Everything has to be perfect.

Did you ever wonder why I asked if you didn’t have anything against psychics? Against my better intition I listened to someone else and contracted YOU! I knew this was going to happen. Never again will this happen. I will trust my strong intuition. It is ALWAYS right. This was a VERY expensive lesson.

Lastly I am relieved that you made this decision. I would have had to cut the deal in a week or two. You brought bad luck into my office. A car accident on the second day of training? Come on! Who does that?

Also keep in mind that you were an independent contractor, and the items that you spent all day searching for do not apply. You were never an employee. I have made many enemies in this business. I trust no one, including you. Yet, I can always say that if someone is owed money by my company they will get paid.

This is the last you will hear from me and I will not tolerate any contact from you in any form other than your attorney contacting me. I do not want anything to do with you. Do not take it personally, it just you have a bad aura around you. Think positive it will change.

Good luck to you. A check for about $382 will be sent to you. This will break any bad luck that is still lingering from you.

Thanks!

Thomas B
President

Submitted By: Zach

A Mickey Mouse Operation

February 8th, 2010 Aimeezburger 62 comments

This e-mail was from my friend’s mom (who might possibly be mentally ill) who sent a ranting, psychotic email to the Disney Movie Rewards website (where you enter codes from Disney movies to get stuff, from posters to electronics) and she went psycho when she found out they didn’t have the Mickey Mouse TV’s anymore.

Crazy Emails - Dizzy About Disney

WHERE’S THE TV!?!??! YOU ADVERTISE IT ALL AROUND YOUR SITE AND ON ALL YOUR
DVDS YOU SHOW PICS OF MICKEY MOUSE TVS AND I COME ON HERE WITH LIKE 200 DISNEY
MOVIES AND I CAN’T EVEN GET A STINKING MICKEY MOUSE TV WITH EARS AS SPEAKERS. I
HATE DISNEY. IM BOYCOTTING DISNEY. I HATE.IT. IM SUING BECAUSE THERE IS NO TV.
WHO CAN I SUE? I HAVE 14 KIDS WITH NO TV. IM DYING HERE. THEY TORTURE ME, AND I
NEED SOMETHING TO ENTERTAIN THEM. HELP ME. I AM DYING. I ONLY HAVE 2 DOLLARS TO
MY NAME AND 3000 DISNEY MOVIES AND I NEED A TV!!!!
BY THE WAY, MY DUMB KIDS RIPPED OUT THE CODES AND I HAVE 2000 DISNEY MOVIES WITH
NO CODES!!! YOU SHOULD USE GLUE SO THEY CANT RIP IT OUT. THIS IS AN OUTRAGE. I
SPENT ALL MY LIFE SAVINGS ON DISNEY MOVIES AND I HAVE NO TV. WE LIVE ON CHOP
SUEY ITS MY KIDS FAVORITE FOOD AFTER THEY SAW MULAN. AND THEY RIPPED OUT ALL MY
CODES!!! OH I KNOW WHY YOU DONT USE GLUE!! U WANT PEOPLE TO RIP THEM OUT SO THEY
CANT USE THE CODE TO GET A NON-EXISTANT TV!! DISNEY IS SATAN!! AND I AINT
SPENDIN NO 750 POINTS ON ‘WHOOPI’ SHOOTING ARROWS!! GET SOME GOOD MOVIES FOR A
CHANGE!! DISNEY IS A HEARTLESS CORPRATION JUST IN IT FOR MONEY!!

PS I ALSO SAW A PIC OF 2 HAPPY KIDS WATCHING A PIRATES TV!!!

Submitted by – Katy

Welcome To My Sexy Alternate Universe

February 7th, 2010 Aimeezburger 52 comments

My alternate self got me next week’s lottery numbers. Maybe now I’ll be able to afford cable.

Crazy Emails - Quantum Leper
Crazy Emails - Quantum Leper

Do You Need A Space Ship? A Time Machine?

Thankfully, you don’t need to be a mad scientist to master Quantum Jumping. All you need is an open mind, and the willingness to learn. Once I’ve shown you how, you’ll be able to use the untapped power of your mind to ‘jump’ into alternate universes, and visit alternate versions of yourself who already have all the skills, knowledge and experience you desire.

The smarter you. The richer you. The healthier you. The sexier you. They’re all out there, and all you need to do is talk to them. Sounds crazy, I know, but it works.
This Could WILL Change Your Life

Even though the country’s in the middle of a crisis, I can’t remember the last time I made a wrong decision, or found myself stuck, frustrated or ill—all thanks to the insights of my alternate selves.

Countless people ask me how I managed to accomplish everything I have. My students whom I showed Quantum Jumping to tell me the same thing. Now think of what you could do with the power of Quantum Jumping in your own life…

Testimonial

I Have Gained Confidence To Pick Up Girls

“My goal for using Quantum Jumping is to live my life to my full potential & increase the many talents I have.
So far I have gained huge confidence in one part of my life. That was the confidence to pick up girls & go for what I want. The Bagha is also really awesome. I use it every day. Not only that, I love that I can instantly reach Alpha now.
I set up conscious source foundations all the time & they work!

I would definitely recommend it to someone else who is open to it because B@#$ put so much more in those CD’s than was expected. His information can be a part of your everyday life in every aspect of your life.

I love it. THANK YOU B@#$!! You’re The BEST.”

Submitted by – Jeff

Giraffe Needed

February 6th, 2010 Aimeezburger 41 comments

Crazy Emails - Giraffe Needed

. I am looking for someone who can clean my home once a week. There is however one catch. You must clean the home in a giraffe costume. I have always had a fascination with giraffes and this just excites me. During your time cleaning the home I will toss you peanuts and carrots as if you were a real giraffe in a drive thru safari. For this job I am willing to pay 50 a week extra if you can manage to find a walrus costume and get someone else to come with you as the walrus

Submitted by – Luna

OK, then how about a cross between a Giraffe and a Walrus? This is close, right?

Crazy Emails - Chronic Masterbator

Submitted by – Maranda

Categories: Crazy in Love Tags: ,

Show Me Your Universe

February 5th, 2010 Aimeezburger 48 comments

Crazy Emails - Show Me Your Universe

The universe.

Most people like to believe that the universe is like all the stars and planets in space.

That’s not the universe.

That’s pretty much the matter and energy part. The universe is all the matter energy time and space. People don’t really understand the time part so they try to just leave it out of what they think the universe really is. Much more then all the stars and planets in space, the universe is really all the past present and future. People don’t really understand what the past present and future is, so they try to fall back on the idea that the universe is all the stars and planets in space.

Now show me your universe, the whole thing.

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: