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Voicemail from a Crazy Stalker


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Chirped by @ChelseyRogerson – Ok u need 2 listen 2 this. Guy left a message on a woman a friend of mine knows. He is a total LUNATIC!!! I LOVE IT
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Message 1:
Hey Olga, it’s Dimitri.

Sorry I had to leave such a rushed message with you when we met the other day. I just wanted to quickly give you my phone number, and I had to get the heck out of the area. In any event, I figured I had better leave you a more detailed message and explain why I approached you. I am single. I have no trouble meeting women; I mean, women approach me six or seven times a day. But I’m very particular about what I like. You’re an extremely elegant woman. I couldn’t take my eyes off you, and your friends were very jealous — even if they say they weren’t, they were envious of the fact that I approached you, and I was very taken by you. Elegant women are very rare. I’m Greek and I’m very particular about what I like. So I’m giving you an opportunity here. I don’t know if you picked up the message on the weekend but I’m working on a movie script so I’m pretty much around all weekend doing that, I left you my number…

This looks like a land line, and if it is you may not get the message till Monday. But when you do, call me and we’ll get together for coffee and chat and let the romance begin. You looked very taken aback by my approach, and I hope that it isn’t timidness, I hope it was just a little bit of shock at being approached so directly. Because I don’t really date timid women, because I’m a very direct, very passionate, very assertive man, and I want a woman who is very independent and strong. So…anyway we’ll talk about that, but I just wanted to formally introduce myself, now I have. I believe the ball in your court. You call me as soon as you have the courage to. Okay, Olga? Talk to you soon, bye.

Message 2:

Hi there, Olga it’s Dimitri calling again, the guy from the street.
I left you a message several days ago you said you were interested. Now, here’s the way I work. I don’t like leaving second messages but I like you, you’re a very elegant woman, you’re very attractive, but, you know, I don’t play that game. I know your friends tell you not to return calls; you’re playing games like you see in stupid TV shows. So here’s how it’s gonna work. It is now 4:30 on Wednesday. Now I’ll assume, I’ll assume that you’ve already left work, because, you know, some people leave work early, and I’ll grant you that. But if I do not receive a phone call back from you by 3 o’clock Thursday afternoon I’m no longer interested and you can erase your number. I don’t play games like that. I’m completely single, I’m very intelligent, I’m great in bed, I make great money. Believe it or not, I’m a complete catch. I’ve only been single four months; I had a long distance relationship you know went a year, it’s very tough to maintain it like that and it didn’t work out; there’s nothing wrong with me. As a matter of fact I’m one of the few men in the city that has nothing wrong with him. So I’m giving you the three o’clock deadline. If I don’t hear from you, you lose my number — I’m erasing yours right now, so you won’t be hearing back from me.

So that’s it: three o’clock tomorrow, or you can just completely forget it.

Now I understand if you’ve got other issues, like maybe you’re not playing games, maybe you’ve had I don’t know… maybe you were abused in childhood?…Maybe your mother has cancer, you’re going to chemo…maybe you’re just a person who’s extremely frightened or has an anxiety disorder, maybe you’re on some medication for that…I don’t know, there could be another issue that I’m not aware of. But nobody says “Call me,” hands a person a business card and then doesn’t return calls. It’s extremely passive aggressive. You should actually look that up, passive-aggressive personality disorder. And you let me know, if you’ve got issues, psychological issues, if you’re on any sort of medication for anxiety or depression; I’m not interested, okay. But if you’re psychologically normal, and you haven’t called me because there’s been some horrible thing that’s happened in your life which prevented you, that’s fine. But otherwise? Don’t call me. Okay, bye.

100 Responses to “Voicemail from a Crazy Stalker”

  1. NikkiH says:

    :-O That is freaky and hilarious at the same time. I used to read mail for this blind dude who would call me and leave me rambling messages like this – not coming onto me, thank God, but just completely unaware of… uh… well, pretty much everything. ;)

  2. Steveo says:

    WOW!!! What a CREEPO!!

  3. Jo says:

    Wow, this guy is one scary little narcissist. Being in a relationship with him would be like being in jail with a junior high school assistant principal for a cell mate.

  4. Matthew says:

    Oh my God. I’ve never heard anything that psychotic. I fear for Olga.

  5. Blåbär says:

    Oboy! He’s a complete catch and great in bed!

  6. September says:

    As much as I laughed and think that guy is insane..

    That probably would have worked on me. D:

  7. esther says:

    jesus h christ. wtf zomg rofl brb asap and all other exclamations. man you totally should’ve called back and said something like you are a highly dangerous sociopath but you are actually not taking medication at the moment .. so no worries there. haha seriously, omg.

  8. I’ve had guys seem like they would stalk me if I didn’t give them my real number (they decided to call it on the spot to make sure it worked). This guy obviously doesn’t get it. People can say call me in person but change their minds. Or can’t reject that well in person. Everybody hands out business cards and many don’t return phone calls.

  9. Hovis says:

    First!

  10. phatfly says:

    i wood have just bin like
    hey its me give me a shout when you get this

    then simply just forgot about it coz id be not wasstin any time if i was single…id be gettin wasted lolz

  11. Girly says:

    WOW! Total stalker! Great catch usually means controlling, manipulative, paranoid, jerk.

  12. abo says:

    If he’s “one of the few men in the city that has nothing wrong with him”, I hope I’ll never meet one of those who have.

  13. David says:

    He is Dimitri the Lover from Toronto. Torontoist.com had an article about him and his “ways” a while ago. Here is the link: http://torontoist.com/2008/06/remember_dimitri_the_lover.php

    David J.

  14. Mandy says:

    Im pretty sure this is ‘Dimitri the lover’ – a totally misogynistic guy from toronto that actually gives seminars on how guys can pick up women, and how women truly want to release their inner slut. He’s disgusting. I hope to god this woman never contacted him.

  15. chicgeek says:

    Oh my god. He’s from Toronto. Please say I haven’t run into him.

    (The 416 area code.)

  16. cdarbs says:

    Holy moley…. I hope her business card didn’t have her office address on it. I’m fearful for her.

  17. TS says:

    This is fake. It’s part of an advertising campaign fron Toronto Ontario Canada. I liked the website in my name.

  18. Bonnie says:

    Ah, Dimitri. Yes, he’s quite well known in Toronto. I haven’t had the “pleasure” of running into this freak. God help him if I do.

  19. Martijn says:

    This guy’s a total narcissist!! Run!!

  20. J Hopeless says:

    I think HE is on meds…and forgot to take them

  21. Doc Johnson says:

    THESE VOICEMAILS ARE VIRAL MARKETING for an upcoming Hollywood movie about Dimitri The Lover. I was intereviewed on the street in Toronto for it. They are totally fake and being used to build up notoriety before release. If you want to see some REAL MATERIAL from this guy, either go to his web site or check out this douchey flyer he hands to single women that reject his advances (this guy is the real life “Most Interesting Man in the World”):

    http://pics.livejournal.com/suspiciouslump/pic/00001pse

  22. Susan says:

    Yeah, he’s a real catch all right.

  23. janeroo says:

    there’s NOTHING wrong with him
    rofl. scary.

  24. Daniel says:

    Wow… I don’t know if I should laugh or be worried because Dimitri is actually out there. Great to be a guy right now.

  25. krismiss says:

    i wonder…
    does he prefer Dos Equis?

  26. Amylou says:

    PSYCHO!!!

  27. doom says:

    hehe, he sounds kinda like a younger Mr. Rogers.

    wtf, weirdo.

  28. Phil says:

    This would be crazy if it turns out this guy really believes what he is saying. What makes it seem so legitimately crazy is how he accuses this Olga of just being mentally ill so that when she doesn’t call him he can just write it off as she was a nutcase and she knew he wouldn’t date her.
    But really, Demitri? Olga? Where the flicka are these people?

  29. Grace says:

    I’m so completely grateful that there really is another name connected to this guy! That second recording is disturbingly like a guy I dated in college. Seriously made my skin crawl!

  30. Joe says:

    Fake.

  31. Lollerskater says:

    This guy is a fuckin retard. I swear to God if I ever met him I would make it epicallly obvious to everyong who he was and force him to sit through hours of taunting and stoning before being let go.

    (I wish we still could stone people)

  32. Banannah N da House says:

    Dr. Phil? Is that you?

  33. stinkbug says:

    Yeah it’s not that unusual to be honest. Have hd similar responses on Myspace. Yuck wonder if they ever convince a girl to go there.

  34. Savage says:

    He’s on YouTube. This call is up there, just go and listen to it.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c06pinaKl8o

    There are also a lot of other clips with him, so you can see how he looks like:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWmfVIC4g3s

    He even has his own homepage!
    http://www.dimitrithelover.com/

  35. nicitha says:

    Yeah, sorry, this must be fake. He messed something up and started over- you hear that as he alter his tone of voice. Most of all, he sounds as he reads from a paper, he doesn’t ramble at all, he talks to slow and cut up..
    BUT there is probably a lot more guys like him, and it’s fun to hear it :D .. But I rather they didn’t exist in my world..
    Haha “if you are sane, I want you- but if you’ve been abused (or ever eat pills): don’t call”

  36. Mark says:

    that is fucked!

  37. X-men Rule! says:

    I live in Oshawa (near Toronto) and I agree with “Doc Johnson”. The rumour is that the Borat/Bruno producers are working on a documentary about Dimitri and that these voicemails are indeed “viral marketing”. Also, rumour has it that most of the Wikipedia and other articles are totally exaggerated to purposely make him look like a total freak. See the reaction they elicited in everyone here?

    Anyway, this is his main web site (make sure to visit the “Banned Animations” section … he has sex with the Virgin Mary and kills feminists):

    http://dimitrithelover.com

    And if you want a real laugh, here is the most recent announcement from his anti-metrosexual site. The theme of the next meeting is how to convince “sluts” to fuck without condoms (lol). I’m really tempted to attend:

    http://www.dimitrithelover.com/toronto_real_men_august_2009.html

  38. Serpentia13 says:

    I’d already heard this on Psychotic Letters From Men, but hearing it again here doesn’t make it any less insane.

    This guy’s such an ass…I hope his bits meet with acid.

  39. Shelzstuff says:

    Wow, a deranged man complete with ‘I am a great boyfriend’ sales pitch. HAHAHA

  40. X-men Rule! says:

    This guy is anything but “deranged” or “insane”. He knows exactly what he’s doing. Women respond to asshole behaviour. They go nuts for arrogant men. Just take a look at the link to the flyer “Doc Johnson” posted above, http://pics.livejournal.com/suspiciouslump/pic/00001pse

    I bet you there are some women that would actually register for his “Awaken The Slut Within” course. If you think that Dimitri The Lover is anything but a calculating, manipulative “Cassanova” type, you’re sorely mistaken. He’s totally like the douchebag “Most Interesting Man in the World” from the Dos Equis commercials. I concede that Dimitri’s balls are about 10x larger than mine. I have no where near to his audacity, but I do greatly admire it, and I WISH I COULD BE EVEN HALF AS DOUCHEY AS HIM. I let women walk all over me and I am living vicariously through him.

    I can’t wait for the movie to be released. It should be a total blast!

  41. Adam says:

    This is a self proclaimed Toronto pick-up artist! lol The paper the I work for did a piece on him a while back and he is the city’s creepiest guy! He did a poster campaign in Toronto, plastering his number on posters all over the city!!! Check out his story here and at Eye Weekly as well. Massive psycho dirtball!!!! http://livenews.com.au/entertainment/the-shredder/humiliated-pickup-artist-continues-campaign-enrages-toronto/2009/6/12/209701

  42. DOH says:

    I really don’t think this is real.

    But it is funny.

  43. anonymous says:

    The guy that writes this stuff must be Romanian.

  44. Nick says:

    Sooooo…

    I mean, he’s creepy, sounds desperate, but if this is all of it, I don’t think he seems like a stalker. I really expected at least two or three more voicemails before I’d classify him as a stalker.

    I think he’s just foreign, lonely, and unsure of how social situations work here in the US of A.

  45. Katie says:

    This is creepy and this guy should be in prison and sterilized.

  46. Azra says:

    Poor Olga- she doesn’t deserve that shit. Why do men always do this? Haha. They act like they’re sooooo confident. *rolls eyes* Then they accuse you..Oy.

  47. YeTi says:

    lol!!
    Wow… I think that if aliens were to visit earth, disguise themselves, and try to blend into society, everyday interactions would sound like this guy.

    O.o

  48. Kenya says:

    This dude is certifiable. I bet he’s on medication.

    • fleakfragfry says:

      If he were on meds, I’m not sure he would be quite so insane. But they’d probably be a great idea.

    • Esprix says:

      Why should he be on medications? He *clearly* said he was *normal*. Weren’t you listening?

      (OK, my eyes just rolled out of my head. He’s not on medication because he believes every word that came out of his mouth. He thinks he’s perfect and God’s gift to women – a psychiatrist is for someone who is obviously not as perfect as he is. It’s the way of The Tool…)

  49. Sika says:

    If this were fake it would be much worse. Not only that, but this recoding has been around for A LONG time. Long before any movie was in the works

  50. anonymous says:

    I think is true: this guy who writes this stuff is from Romania. If you ask a average american what kind of language they speak in Romania, they will point cluelessly, to Russia: Ah ah ah ah ah …

    That is why this guy says he is from Greece.

    One thing I am sure: the dutchess will keep selling his/hers shit cause the dutchess know the “rules of engagement”.

    Hey americans —go buy some expensive dutchess bullshit!

    Today.

    • peerm09 says:

      Either I completely missed something, or you’re going to be featured next.

    • Gail says:

      WTF is a dutchess?? A Dutch lady? A duchess is… nevermind.

      Romania? Who said anything about…? Russia??? Huh?

      Dude, what the **** are you talking about? Wait, on second thought I don’t want to know. Just don’t use that English translator again. There are a lot of reliable ones out there, but the one you used was obviously just a practical joke version.

      • Anonymous says:

        I am glad you got the point. As a matter of fact, the dutchess expect you to think that the dutchess gives a …
        But reality or actuality tells us that the dutchess don’t give a penny to or at you.

        You sound to be very well informed ;=>>>

    • Kuumi says:

      They see me trollin’,
      they hatin’
      Trying to catch me ridin’ dirty.

      successful troll is successful. .D.b

    • Bella Pattinson says:

      seriously? what drugs are you on? maybe you will be the next creepy stalker that leaves some random voice mail in some random persons mail box. but what ever you say…

  51. This guy is a total loser and its awesome to see a wussy like this on the phone. Wow, good entertainment!!!

  52. hi says:

    thats from a friggen movie!

  53. NahhNon says:

    Hey, I didn’t know a thing about Dimitri. “Possibly he is from Romania”. I checked on his website and you know what: Dimitri my friend, keep on the good job! Show’em how it’s done.

  54. asa says:

    This guy has a website, check it out its hilarious http://dimitrithelover.com/

  55. Doc Johnson says:

    I’ll repeat what I said earlier. THESE VOICEMAILS ARE VIRAL MARKETING for an upcoming Hollywood movie about Dimitri The Lover. I was intereviewed on the street in Toronto for it. They are totally fake and being used to build up notoriety before release. If you want to see some REAL MATERIAL from this guy, either go to his web site (which ASA supplied above) or check out this douchey flyer he hands to single women that reject his advances (this guy is the real life “Most Interesting Man in the World”):

    http://pics.livejournal.com/suspiciouslump/pic/00001pse

  56. Lucy says:

    god yes. i met this guy when i was working in second cup in toronto. he tried his lines on me, my coworkers and several of our customer. he’d come in and sit for four or five hours, moving from person to person as they came in and sat. he was actually banned from the store for harassing people. XD

  57. Maureen says:

    This is hilarious! The first message especially reminded me of a song by Ludo, Go-Getter Greg. I don’t even know how you would respond to this sort of thing! Even if its a fake, it’s still funny (:

    (Heres the song, by the way. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6xk6GJyd6A )

  58. Animator Man says:

    Here is a link to all of Dimitri The Lover’s NSFW animations banned by YouTube. I especially like the one titled “Crucifixion of Dimitri” (the url ends with dyke.htm … lol):

    http://dimitrithelover.com/animation.html

  59. Eric says:

    I doubt that this actually happened to her friend, as I heard the actual message on a another website 6 months ago.

    with that being said, it’s a pretty damn-funny message.

  60. Strange Magic says:

    I have no idea what to make from all this. I’ve actually known guys who have acted like this towards women in real life so I can really see this voice mail as really happening.
    But then you factor in the ads and internet stuff…adds to the confusion factor…Just what is this guy trying to promote?
    Is it a seduction and pick up course?
    Is it avant garde improvosational theatre?
    How to be a asshole for fun and profit?
    Inquiring minds want to know…

  61. michelle says:

    416 area code?

    toronto area code.

    they played this tape on a radio show here in TO.

    it was funny haha they had a long discussion and everything.

  62. Chris says:

    This was on Radio 1 a while back wasn’t it? It’s just as funny now as it was then.

  63. Kelley says:

    Haha, love it… There is no passive-aggressive personality disorder. It’s an obsolete diagnosis, like homosexuality. I think we can assume now that he’s not a psychologist…

  64. 2plus2isjoe says:

    Does anyone else think he sounds like Kevin Spacey’s character in Se7en?

  65. Flatline says:

    Is it possible that the movie was inspired by these message or something? Or is it definitely fake

  66. ade says:

    i didn’t think voicemails let messages record for that long…

  67. Kayla says:

    Wowwww , talk about desperate!

  68. Toronto! says:

    My friend heard this guys voice and BAM she knew EXACTLY who he was!!! its this guy, hes from toronto and is NUTS. check out his 10 Commandments for Women!
    http://www.dimitrithelover.com/

  69. Queen Bee says:

    THESE VOICEMAILS ARE VIRAL MARKETING FOR A MOVIE. THEY ARE FAKE. This misogynistic asshole is using you to create buzz before a movie release. Take down this voicemail immediately. He is a manipulative savage of a man.

  70. Dee says:

    Wow oh my goodness What a creep………. Contact the law if you gotta. It won’t stop 90 % of the time it won’t. They have mental illness and think nothing is wrong. Best bet is to contact the proper people if they bug you alot.

  71. Dee says:

    I done had 2 or 3 weird people on me ! And 2 got reported to the law…. Due to the matter of them calling and/or e-mailing for months at a time and would send a few e-mails a day…. It’s scary & creepy !

  72. Dee says:

    It’s like stalking & harassment !!!!!!!!!!

  73. Dee says:

    But if it’s fake then wow borning & odd sorry….

  74. I just found Dimitri’s Twitter account … BREAKING NEWS … voicemails are a VIRAL MARKETING HOAX for a movie by Brad Goodman from Borat: http://twitter.com/dimitrithelover

  75. kaboom says:

    I’ve… read this before somewhere else. Weird.

    Ahh, I see what’s going on, now. Viral marketing for a movie, like that sign on failblog about someone cheating on their lover which was a hoax.

    Still, funny, though.

  76. Avozilla says:

    He sounds like a used car salesman.XD Seriously.

  77. Emilija says:

    wow… he’s a freak… “I’m very particular about what I like”, “I’m completly normal”. that guy scared me.

  78. kt says:

    ha this is so funny and who would date him.

  79. aussiegirl1990 says:

    Yeah that’s right, she’s not calling you back because she’s either been abused or her mum’s going through chemo or she has a disorder….. has nothing to do with your first message, or God forbid your second! That would be crazy talk!!!

  80. Kim says:

    Run Olga!Run! you may need witness protection from this weirdo.

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