Star Wars Love Letter
I want to believe this is fake. I really want to believe this is fake. Otherwise, I may have to give up my self-respect and that of other fellow Star Wars fans.
Submitted By: Steffen
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@crazyemails
You and me both.
oh wow.
Wow, this is all kinds of crazy.
second
Jessica: “, your mother didn’t die when she gave birth to you. I am your mother!”
Crap, I put one part between those HTML signs, which disappeared. Darn HTML XD
It should’ve been (now with another symbol):
Jessica: “*name of the writer of the letter*, your mother didn’t…”
That’s creepier than Dmitri!
WORST FAKE LETTER EVAR! No fan of star wars would make the mistake of “Luke putting himself in the Tauntaun” because that’s clearly not how it happened. Han did it, unless Lucas edited it Guido-style in some version I didn’t see.
Strange… I tought of the same thing, and I only watched that part once.
Well, worst fake ever indeed.
You mean Greedo? Or are you thinking of the Godfather?
Fake.
Any real Star Wars fan knows Luke didn’t crawl into his tauntaun, Han Solo put him in there.
He would know that.
Not very likely real…
I can’t help myself when I read someone, supposedly a fan, make such an elemental mistake. *Han* put Luke inside the tauntaun because Luke had passed out in the snow.
The line that creeps me out: “I want to crawl up inside you”. *shudders*
Wow, creepy.
I bet the letter continues . . . “Please don’t freeze my heart like when Han Solo was trapped in carbonite and taken to Jaba the Hutt by Boba Fett.”
. . .”I yearn to be with you, my princess; you’re my only hope.”
. . .”Love you I do. That’s how I would say it if I were Yoda, an exiled Jedi Master on the planet Dagobah, whom Luke Skywalker meets up with to train to be a Jedi.”
. . .”P.S. Everything else aside, how did you like the metal bikini I sent you?”
Win!
Luke didn’t really *crawl* into his tauntaun. Han Solo shoved Luke’s unconsious body inside the one he’d been riding himself. I’m pretty sure the wampa killed and ate Luke Skywalker’s tauntaun.
Sheesh, and this kid presents himself as a Star Wars nerd. Pfft.
Everyone knows Greedo shot first.
PS. Leesub Sirln is your Mom. Suck on it Star Wars nerds!
The letter itself is not nearly as scary as all of you who are correcting the author. How did 12 hours of mediocre film-making turn into such a colossal waste of time??
Shut up or I’ll Force choke you.
That literally made me LOL
Wow, I’d call the police and tell them he threatened to gut me.
I think it took them more than 12 hours to film the movies.
P.S. there sure aren’t very many emails on this “Emails From Crazy People” site.
There aren’t many letters because the site just started like a week ago dude. Give it time.
As for SERIOUSLY (the person being high and mighty about how Star Wars is a colossal waste of time), please, get over yourself or GTFO. I’m sure most of what you like, e.g., literature (said with a douchey affectation), french, and my little ponies, I consider a colossal waste of time. Your smarmy opinion of what other people like doesn’t make you cool or smart. It makes you an ass.
You’re probably a foodie too, aren’t you?
I think I love you!
Whoever wrote this is a loser. Pathetic and creepy.
yeah this letter is real, and was written to me. seriously, not lying. the last time i saw this letter it was on my dresser. sam, how did you find this and/or get it back?
Y’know…i kinda feel bad for the guy. perhaps i don’t unerstand the full story but he just kinda seems sad. *shrug*
The guy that wrote that is possibly a moron.
Wow…how nerdy do you have to be when your knowledge that this is fake comes not from how blatantly creepy it is but because of the inaccuracies of the star wars references within…You people are fucked up.
Agreed. People who watch movies are strange.
fake
How is this an email from a crazy person? It looks like a handwritten note from a crazy person.
Call it snail-mail then. I’m sure the person running the site had no idea people actually wrote letters with pens anymore. Hell, neither did I. Perhaps another crazy point in favour of it being real. Because a real geek would probably email it from his starwarsfan@gmail.com address (and no, that’s not mine). Actually, a real nut-job fan would probably dress up like JarJar and deliver the letter. You’d have to pity the poor girl on the receiving end then.
It would be a long name if this were an all inclusive title: “Emails,Voicemails,Hand-Written Letters, Faxes, Messages Sent By Carrier Pigeon, Etc..From Crazy People” =D
oh my
Ofc it’s fake, luke didn’t crawl up into his tauntaun, han just put him next to it. This letter was written by some fag to bias people against sw-fans.
Han didn’t just put Luke next to the Tauntau. He really did put him inside it.
Oh well, that got cut out in the german version then ^^
OMGS!! It’s a conspiracy!! Of course people are actually out to specifically target Star Wars fans…um, yeah. ROFL!!
(Maybe you can send that comment to someone in the form of an email, so it can be posted on this site…)
Beth:
Haha, you go girl
I just watched the whole 1st season of 30 Rock, and this sounds strangely familiar to me. I’m pretty sure it’s a quote from the show.
She probably ran from this guy because his light saber is to small to do any good in the 1st place
Whenever I see something like this, I sigh and curse those who think that there is no such thing as mental illness. This fellow needs to be on some kind of medication. I know the place he is at: admitting to myself that I needed help, seeking it, and taking my meds have changed things entirely.
To those who are worried: you will still like Star Wars if you take your meds.
Thought I’d seen this one before. http://incredimazing.com/page/Childs_Love_letter_from_a_star_wars_fan
Full letter (with extra awesome) at http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1738514
Maybe Jessica’s admirer needs one of these: http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/tauntaun.html
That is awesome! I want one
Luke did not crawl into the Taun-Taun. Han did cut him open and PUT Luke inside it as Luke was incapacitated from just having visions of Ben……and being hella cold.
She should have written back with something like, “And just like a Taun-Taun, your psycho love also smells bad on the outside and WORSE on the inside.”
If it isn’t a fake it is a perfect example of why nerds are creepy and girls/women don’t date them.
Actually..
I dated, fell in love with, and married a hardcore nerd.
Love of my life. Couldn’t live without him.
Not all nerds are THIS creepy.
OMG… I am not kidding. There was a study done about handwriting and people who ignore the red margin turn out to be psychos and serial killers. Run Jessica. RUN.
Wow, I can´t believe what says in this letter… What happened boss?
I totally know how that guy feels. Sometimes it’s like you’re heart is in the Death Star trash compactor and the only way out is to have your plucky droid hack into the security mainframe and manually override the waste management controls, but even then there’s probably some aquatic scavenger with periscope vision and massive tentacles waiting to squeeze the life out of you as soon as you gain any semblance of self worth. And don’t get me started with the “You have to freeze your emotions in carbonite” metaphors. All in all, sometimes it’s best if we all simply listen to our hearts and let them go down to Tashi Station and get some power converters. And by power converters, of course, I mean cheap handjobs from transvestite Jawas.
I think what bothers me more than the actual content is the fact that he didn’t honor the red line.
There are just some things you don’t do when writing on a pace of lined notebook paper.. and that’s one of them.
Just to be nitpicky, Luke didn’t crawl into the Tauntaun. Han Solo used Luke’s Lightsaber to cut it open and place him inside of it till help arrived. If you are going to put all the effort of writing a really creepy post-breakup note, featuring not just one but two Star Wars references, you might want to at least fact check it first. (Still Hilarious though!)
Really? Seriously? Okay, first of all, Han killed the Tauntaun and put Luke inside it. This kid didn’t even get the facts straight, man.
hahah @ tajjy’s second comment. made this so much better!
That just made the creepiness factor convert itself into a roflcopter. Well said!
@Melissa
Actually the tauntaun died from the cold, neither Han, nor Luke did the killing…
He’s just saying what we’re all thinking.
Why do I get the feeling Jessica is his mother?
OMFG….If I didn’t know better, I’d swear I know the guy who wrote it, I went to Job Corps with a dude OBSESSED with Star Wars, and the tone of the letter was something he would say as well, I overheard him tell a girl once that he loves her, and he knows, if she looks inside, she’ll realize she loves him, and if not, he’ll kill himself!! Only way I know it’s not him, he wouldn’t have made the same SW mistake
I’m placing bets that this guy is that Star Wars Nerd from Robot Chicken, besides this guy seems to have an attraction to those Tauntaun thingys. Who is with me?/=)
Awwwwwwwww!! I’d hit that.
aaaand American culture goes swooshing down the toilet yet again
Seriously? You’re all debating the authenticity of the note because, “Han put Luke in the TaunTaun?” 2 things… 1) You need laid. 2) Either way the guys insane!