Airline Food Is So Bad…
How bad is it? This bad. We all know this and yet still we will get on a plane and ingest stale pretzels and microwave dinners that probably came off the factory line in 1973. But one brave man decided he wasn’t going to take it anymore and wrote the following to Virgin Airlines. The entire exchange can be found here.
Dear Mr Branson:
REF: Mumbai to Heathrow 7th December 2008
I love the Virgin brand, I really do which is why I continue to use it despite a series of unfortunate incidents over the last few years. This latest incident takes the biscuit.
Ironically, by the end of the flight I would have gladly paid over a thousand rupees for a single biscuit following the culinary journey of hell I was subjected to at the hands of your corporation.
Look at this Richard. Just look at it:
You don’t get to a position like yours Richard with anything less than a generous sprinkling of observational power so I KNOW you will have spotted the tomato next to the two yellow shafts of sponge on the left. Yes, it’s next to the sponge shaft without the green paste. That’s got to be the clue hasn’t it. No sane person would serve a desert with a tomato would they. Well answer me this Richard, what sort of animal would serve a desert with peas in:
I know it looks like a baaji, but it’s in custard Richard, custard. It must be the pudding. Well you’ll be fascinated to hear that it wasn’t custard. It was a sour gel with a clear oil on top. It’s only redeeming feature was that it managed to be so alien to my palette that it took away the taste of the curry emanating from our miscellaneous central cuboid of beige matter.
So lets peel back the tin-foil on the main dish and see what’s on offer.
I’ll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard. Now imagine it’s Christmas morning and you’re sat their with your final present to open. It’s a big one, and you know what it is. It’s that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.
Only you open the present and it’s not in there. It’s your hamster Richard. It’s your hamster in the box and it’s not breathing. That’s how I felt when I peeled back the foil and saw this:
Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking it’s more of that Baaji custard. I admit I thought the same too, but no. It’s mustard Richard. MUSTARD. More mustard than any man could consume in a month.
By now I was actually starting to feel a little hypoglycemic. I needed a sugar hit. Luckily there was a small cookie provided. It had caught my eye earlier due to it’s baffling presentation:
It appears to be in an evidence bag from the scene of a crime. A CRIME AGAINST BLOODY COOKING. Either that or some sort of back-street underground cookie, purchased off a gun-toting maniac high on his own supply of yeast.
As I said at the start I love your brand, I really do. It’s just a shame such a simple thing could bring it crashing to it’s knees and begging for sustenance.
Yours Sincerely
XXXX
Via: Russ F
Ok, CSI cookie actually looks pretty good.
Is that thing under the mustard bath an omelet?
I’m not familiar with Mumbai/Heathrow foods, so is this normal?
I agree with this crazy person actually. Oh, and btw……
FIRSHT!!!!!
This was in the British press months ago – totally real! What’s more, Richard Branson got it and was so impressed/amused that he actually replied personally and gave the guy a job!!
http://www.smh.com.au/travel/travel-news/laughing-my-head-off-branson-on-that-complaint-letter-20090211-84eg.html
I’m actually quite disappointed now that I enjoyed my last in-flight meal…
This is a riot. You should click the link to read the entire exchange. In the end, Richard Branson personally contacted the author to offer him the opportunity to taste-test the new line of foods that will be served on Virgin Airlines. Great publicity stunt, but the guy hasn’t said that he accepts the invitation. He didn’t expect his letter to be so huge.
“The entire exchange can be found here.”
Where is the rest? Is is that one email all there is?
If you look closely, you’ll notice the word “here” is a different color, meaning it’s a clickable link.
What a stunning observation. Perhaps you’ll also realize that the link only leads to the _one_ e-mail.
Mustard – yummy
It’s your hamster Richard. It’s your hamster in the box and it’s not breathing….. I was laughing out loud at my work
This email, actually, seems reasonable to me.
This has been circulating the web for years.
This is another dubious retread. WTF.
This was in the press months ago, but looked to be a set up. The guy who was found to have sent the letter, not only worked for a PR company, but worked for a PR company that did work for Virgin Airlines. The day after this was published, most papers ran a “Virgin apologise” type story, and then they announced a brand new menu for this service, with a new chef etc.
Real…. or PR campaign? you decide. (as long as you decide the former).
It may be a retread for some of you, but not everyone has trolled the depths of the internet and so it’s nice to have a site that is gathering all of these exchanges.
This.
Haha, even though I have read this before, it never fails to give me a good laugh XD.
Especially about the hamster.
There is actually an airline still serving food?
Actually most airlines in the US that go outside the country serve food, its just flights in country that only get snack foods like… cookies at best.
Yeah, the last time I got something besides pretzels and soda on a flight was in 2004. Even then it was only a biscuit. (A good one, I should add.)
But you can’t even collect 1000 Rupees! The counter stops at 999!
Best in-flight meals I EVER HAD was on Singapore Airlines from New York City to Singapore, with a stop in Frankfurt.
Among other tantalizing food I was served, I had a medium-well steak. Granted it was only a medium portion, but it went along quite nicely with my complimentary slippers, and I was able to wear those slippers to the bathroom to use my complimentary toothbrush and toothpaste after each meal.
Oh, and that was in coach. I only dare to dream of what was served in first class.
Singapore Airlines is amazing. I flew coach too and it was the greatest flying experience I’ve ever had. Please tell me you went up to first class to look around.
I thought I had seen this before…Guess it is a fake. Entertaining though.
Sometimes you have to think of some of this stuff like a illusion show and have entered a willing state of disbelief…
It’s worse than that. It’s mustard, Jim.
This isn’t too crazy. At least he could identify most of his dinner. Once on Iberia airlines, I was served some meat product with lunch that was unidentifiable, even after tasting.
“Only you open the present and it’s not in there. It’s your hamster Richard. It’s your hamster in the box and it’s not breathing.”
That is priceless.
Little known fact: Airlines thats erve actual meals make them froma real kitchen with high quality ingredients.
why does it taste/look so bad?
in the air the pressure inside a airplane will actually affect your tastebuds, not to mention the resealing and reheating of the food(Which accounts for looks). So on the ground it would actually taste, yes, good.
the more you know.
Continental has pretty good food for an airline, and its free.
Anyways, lol.
Okie.. The writer does not know much about indian food. The yellow sponge (next with tomato) is not desert its Gujrati snack item called ‘Dokla’ (made with gram flour)
The curry which the original complainant is thinking as ‘musturd’ is actually potato curry cooked with yogurt. The yellow colour is result of Termaric powered main ingredient in indian cooking and this type of cury.
Cookie and green pea dessert is funny though..
“It’s more mustard than a man could eat in a month” HAH! That is too funny…glad ol’ Richy B. had a sense of humor about it…
I died laughing at the mustard part. XD
I find his way of talking slightly creepy. I wonder why?
(“Tell me about the lambs, Clarice. The lambs.”)
Nobody ever said that British food was great…