Just Act Casual
Matthew and his girl went to a wedding where they conversed for less than an hour with this guy. Small talk, how’s this weather we’ve been having kind of talk. Then a few weeks later, this shows up on the girl’s front door. Nothing says “Not A Stalker” quite like meeting a girl and her boyfriend at a wedding, chatting a bit and then hunting her down and acting like she is single. Nope, nothing stalker-ish about that at all…
Submitted By: Mathew B
@crazyemails
Where does it say she has a boyfriend?
Not too crazy…
Well, my guess is the boyfriend submitted this.
The submitter and boyfriend are both named Matthew. I think we’ve solved the mystery of who the boyfriend is.
Yup. Too bad this wasn’t the way it was posted when I first read it.
Poor thing probably has Asperger’s. His keeper shoulder be fined.
riiiight, people with aspergers reeeeally love loud frat parties >.>
Sure they do. Not all of them, but probably just about as many as the non-Asperger’s population. I think you have Asperger’s confused with Autism.
Asperger’s is in the autism spectrum, so it is actually a form of autism. It tends to be a high-functioning form of autism, often accompanied by high intelligence. So no, this person does not have Asperger’s “confused” with autism.
People with aspergers are anti-social. He wouldn’t have even talked to her at the wedding if he had aspergers. do some damn research.
You too? Why are so many people making incorrect generalizations about groups of people they know nothing about? Not everyone with Asperger’s Syndrome is antisocial, but some are. Not everyone without Asperger’s Syndrome is antisocial, but some of them are, too. Do I seem antisocial to you?
Well, now that you mention it, yeah, you do seem a bit anti-social.
Well, you would be wrong.
What do you have against people with Asperger’s Syndrome? We don’t have “Keepers,” either. I’ll thank you to learn about people before you start insulting them. There is no way of knowing whether or not this guy has Asperger’s Syndrome, but people with Asperger’s Syndrome don’t go around trying to steal girlfriends or boyfriends, unless they are also jerks. Not everyone is alike, you know.
Sure, and after that we can fine your keeper. What they are doing letting an asshat like you post on the internets, I don’t know.
Wow- that wasn’t very nice.
I think you need to be beaten to death. Just saying
We can go Jet Ski, then we look at the mountains. Then I show you around at my friends’ party, and then we have sex.
Sounds good to you?
Did he really use an emoticon…in a letter??? Seriously?
That was my first thought too! If you’re going to draw a smiley face, draw it right side up, people.
I think the above ground pool should do the trick in winning her over.
It’s times like these when I am ashamed to be male.
Where does it say she has a boyfriend and they met at a wedding? o.O
It doesn’t say that anywhere but I’m willing to bet the submitter (Matthew) mentioned that when he sent it in.
Found Ya!!!
and I’ve already planned out the rest of YOUR life!!!!
your gonna love ME!!!!
Any time someone leads off a letter with “Found you!”, they’ve already won me over. Plus, the addition of “I’m not a stalker” always makes me trust them even more!
Any letter that has, “I’m not a stalker, I promise” as the first line is pretty much guaranteed to be from a stalker. I think it’s in their handbook.
This one kind of misses the mark for me. It was sent in by a guy, not the recipient. If the submitter IS the boyfriend it’d be worth mentioning.
Read it, really: the site’s intro (Matthew and his girl went to a wedding…), and then submitted by Matthew. Pretty clear.
That was not there when originally posted. NOW it makes sense. THEN it was unclear.
Okay, maybe I’m crazy, but this doesn’t come across as terribly weird or desperate or crazy to me. There have definitely been instances that I have tried to find girls I met once on Facebook and would have been happy to send them a letter because of the chemistry I felt.
This really only becomes *crazy* if there are any subsequent communications. He probably could have phrased the note a bit better though so it came across less weird, but hey, worth a shot, right?
Slightly crazy… but probably more of a “what if” situation in the guy’s mind, so I’ll let this one slide.
Seriously? You don’t find it the least bit creepy that he went through all this trouble to find her and then suggest they go “hang out” even though he knows she has a boyfriend?
Maybe it’s just because I’m a girl that I really do. Or maybe someone needs to teach you a little thing called “boundaries.”
I know, right? It definitely is creepy. Dude, if she was into you, should would have given you her phone number, email, even her damn Facebook — seriously. But she didn’t, so deal with it and move on.
Look, the guy who wrote this letter is a friend of mine. He didn’t go drop this letter on her door step and sit in his car waiting. He googled her name and got her address and mailed it. The way I understand it, she identified her boyfriend merely as a “date”. I will say that without having anything to go by but this letter, he comes off a bit creepy because he doesn’t understand how to empathize with someone reading this letter. He was trying to be romantic with a letter, he should have had someone proofread it.
Could he have done a better job with how he handled this? Absolutely. But he was trying to be funny with the opening line and thought he had a shot. And even if he wasn’t my friend, I’d still say this girl is a jerk for putting this out there. We’ve been breaking his balls about this a bit, but he’s upset with this situation, since this got linked in the local paper.
I can empathize that it would suck to be him now, although his name is not mentioned so hopefully he’s not publicly humiliated, just privately. I think he did a horrible job of writing the letter, which is what gives him the creeper status. Making no mention of her boyfriend or “date” accentuates it, and probably justified the actual boyfriend in sending this in (note that the girl didn’t). He comes across as incredibly socially unaware. But wanting to find a girl who you felt a connection with and mailing her a letter is for the most part fine. It just needs to be done very carefully to avoid the creepy impression.
If this were the plot for a romantic comedy, women would swoon over it. He met a girl he liked, and he made a move. Sure, he could have used a bit of editing and maybe a good pal to proofread it, but I kind of think it’s cute. As for knowing she had a boyfriend, when has that ever stopped anybody?
So… he’s crazy for trying to steal someone’s girlfriend?
Or crazy for looking up a girl he likes in the phone book and asking her out (instead of being a lazy, and consign to fate that “it was never meant to be”)?
Yes, let’s call the looney bin…
Honestly, what’s happening to this site? The “emails” are getting less and less crazy.
..Yes.
What, boys don’t have boundaries anymore? It’s not okay to have a very _casual_ conversation with a stranger, then run home and find out where she sleeps. He should have respected her privacy and asked her for her number, not tracked her down like the goddamn Batman. (The one method allows her to keep control of how much of her personal information is obtained by strangers she’s just met, the other is invasive and creepy. See how that works?)
…Assuming he thought she was _single_, of course. The fact that he met her when she was with her boyfriend adds several layers of pathos and ick.
i swear ive read this somewhere else… i cant remember where, but i think it would be this site. i might just be going crazy though
Just like a a young guy who has had his carbonated hormones shaken and has a underfunded social life….
Been there,done that and didn’t like it…
And this is a lesson to everybody that putting anything out in written form is doubly dangerous nowdaze….
“sounds like”
She’s gonna get GRAPED
Why was she in the *yellow* pages?
I was wondering that too. Unless he meant that is where he was looking for a private detective.
he HANDWROTE a
that’s just sad.
Okay, I just got really excited because this comes from my hometown of Buffalo yay! I’m so proud
Well, I am not native to Buffal-snow, but I live near Buff State these days and yes indeed, this is the handiwork of a typical student. I see these nuts on the bus and at Wegman’s. That’s when I know that pursuing my degree online was the right idea.
I guess the cold weather doesn’t keep them away. I wonder if this guy was friends with the Bike Path Rapist, or just admired his work. He probably lives in North Tonawanda.
I used to live around there. I wonder if I know anyone involved. I don’t know whether I’d prefer to or not.
I don’t know if I would say crazy, but definitely odd and having been stalked before this would creep me out a bit. The piss-poor handwriting and the “I’m not a stalker” sentence lead me to imagine someone who was probably high when he wrote this or someone who hasn’t got a firm grip on reality. Either way, you don’t necessarily want to be on the receiving end of their affections.
The more I read this, the funnier it is.
So, if I am understanding option #1, then he thinks that a 14 mile trip via jet ski to this great restaurant is going to really spark this girl’s interest? If she is the type of girl not “down” with that, than obviously, bringing her to a frat party, that he is no longer a member of, will get him in those pants.
AAHHH american mating ritual…luv it….so sophisticated…
Oh now, every country has their share of fruit loops in the bowl like this one!
If this doesn’t seem that weird to you and you would do the same thing to a nice girl you met at a wedding, maybe rethink that strategy…no girl I’ve ever met (myself included) would not be scared by this.
“no girl I’ve ever met (myself included) would not be scared by this.”
Let me introduce myself…
His tone is a little immature (but clearly he’s fresh out of college so that can be excused). I think this guy shows initiative and determination. IF she turns him down and he keeps coming around, then it’s scary. Not until.
Thank you. If he kept at this, I’d completely agree my friend is a freak. He’s genuinely upset and embarrassed about this; he’s not going to be speaking to the girl involved anytime soon.
Look I understand stalking is a serious thing, but some of the women commenting need to get off their “minor in psychology” high horse and stop trying to label him with no context other than the story submitted by the girls boyfriend. He just made a very stupid joke and unfortunately thinks a bulletpoint list of date ideas is the best way to woo a girl. The boyfriend should be a little more upset that the girl described him as her date for the wedding instead of her boyfriend.
Genuinely sorry your pal is embarrassed about the letter’s internet debut. Tough lesson that many people will learn the hard way – never say, and especially NEVER EVER EVER write down anything you wouldn’t want quoted later. Thankfully, no one knows his name so unless he writes an identical letter to another girl, it’s unlikely there will be any backlash for him (other than the emotional pain he’s currently suffering).
Hey I’m hoping he learned a valuable lesson here about what he did and how he did it. Hopefully he can laugh about it some day, but if you know this guy at all you can pick out about 5 different things from this letter to identify him by. He’s getting a raft of shit from his friends about this, and deservedly so. I just feel bad its on the internet.
Dude.. did this get mailed or just placed at her door?
I’d be scared.
I think this one needs another helping of crazy…
I was going to go with simply clueless rather than crazy until I got to the part where he writes, “Get the hormones going…:)” Now that even creeped me out. As a male who has encountered numerous instances of my fellow males’ gibbering idiocy where women are concerned, that takes the cake. I can’t possibly fathom the mind of a man who would write that phrase in a letter to a woman he’d met once and think, “That’ll win her over!”
Well lookit that – something from right in my neck of the woods. I’d be more critical of the note, but unfortunately he doesn’t sound much different from a lot of guys in Buffalo. This is where tact and sophistication come to die.
okay, as a chick… i would be creeped, esp if it wasn’t a posted letter, just dropped in my mail box. I mean, its one thing if he just wants to give you his phone number and wants to chat, another if he has sexy dates already planned out. >.< I've dated enough weirdos…
It was mailed.
I live in Syracuse, NY. The Syracuse Post-Standard actually did a write-up about this blog post. Must’ve been a slow news day.
So, come with me on a 14-mile jet ski ride from my camp (camp? WTF?) to this fabulous restaurant (that I totally made up) to view some fabulous mountain terrain (where I will rape you and leave you for dead, right out there in the middle of nowhere next to my make-believe restaurant).
The parentheticals are my thoughts on the real subtext as I first read through the letter….. I could go on, but I’d rather not.
You call it immature, I call it creepy.
Yes, exactly my thoughts. You win at subtext. I don’t understand how this is not creepy to some people.
Translated into literal meaning:
Found you! I am a stalker, and I know this is going to come off that way, so I am going to go ahead and attempt to say that I am not.
” and we could take a jet ski to a restaurant, and then the mountains. I’m sure you’d love to be alone in the mountains with a near stranger, wouldnt you?(I’d love to touch your mountains…)
You mentioned where you live, so I took the liberty of finding your address, and then driving to your house to give you this. Remember, I’m not a stalker!
I figured that I could bring you to “my camp.
Then we could go hang out with my Frat friends. And in the future, we can go hang out with them again, and I can get you drunk with my ice luge. Then you are going to sleep with me….
I am going to list a few last activities to try and lure you in that may spark an interest so you would think about leaving your boyfriend.
I really dont know you, but you are just like me, and your hot. This is definitely going to go somewhere. I just know it.
You rock! Your post made me laugh slightly hysterically.
“but, letters are exciting”… and also incriminating
I actually really don’t think this guy’s all that crazy.. I mean, he did go a bit overboard with the letter (in suggesting potential dates, anyway), but I would have tried to find someone I felt I really connected with as well. I wouldn’t have gone to that extent, I probably just would have left a simple note “Hey, it’s that girl from the other night, and I was wondering if you wanted to hang out again some time. Call me.” Or something like that. But this honestly isn’t that insane. It’s just a guy who was interested in a girl and went to great lengths to find her- now, if he’d been sitting outside watching her while he wrote this, and explained that he was, that’d be a totally different thing.
In what universe is it acceptable to track down a near-stranger (one who is clearly not looking for a relationship of any kind), go to her house, and leave her a sexually suggestive letter? The weirdest part is his suggestion for a first date. No woman who values her health or life would go fourteen miles into the woods with this dude on a “date.” Scaaaary. o_o
I know! After reading the “hormones” bit, I was convinced. WTF? How can people not think this is creepy or weird? An unsolicited two-page handwritten letter, left at her front door? And offering to take her to a frat party (so he can show her off to his buddies) when they’re both out of college- what the hell kind of date is that and what woman would actually accept?
This is not how you date, people!
WTF does “unsolicited” have to do with anything? He dropped the ball at the wedding and missed a chance to grab a number. Get over yourself.
Where are y’all finding the smiles to use?
I don’t see them anywhere…are y’all catching them in the wilds?
I found ‘em by mistake — if you type out the stardard characters for the smileys: : – ) or : – ( or ; – ) (all without the spaces), then you get this:
Not sure what other ones work….
Thanx…I’ve always been partial to smileys…especially ones found in their native habitats…
Punch the keywords “emoticons” and “wordpress” into Google. The first search result has a bunch of good ones. I tried to give the link for it but the mod apparently found it to be Evil ™ and did not allow it to be posted.
and the most scary part for me right here? … i live in orchard park. o_o
OH MAN!!! That’s scary! =(
I do think this letter could be more OK in the right context. If she were single (or he at least had no knowledge of a boyfriend), and they had met and hit it off, then didn’t wind up exchanging contact information before the evening was over, then fine. It’s forward, but since the previous interaction implied mutual interest, it doesn’t really violate as many boundaries. Lots of romantic comedies are based on less.
What makes this letter questionable is that based on how this situation was described in the introduction, it isn’t the logical leap for someone to make when he only met her briefly and had some superficial interaction with her while she was in the company of her significant other.
So while I’m not saying this kind of thing is never OK, in this situation there’s no grounds for the guy to reasonably expect that his overtures would be well-received. There’s no reason to think she should be comfortable with this.
Is this what becomes of former frat guys when mid-life-crisis kicks in? For shame!
Wow, man. I’m in Syracuse too.
I might have gone to high school with this guy.
This is literally the best thing ever. It really leaves me wanting more.
I went to Buff State, this letter looks pretty standard.
The things one do to get laid.
If someone says “I’m not a stalker”, then he or she is most likely a stalker…
If said someone writes “That will get our hormones going
”, RUNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
$20 says this guys went to Nichols.
Poor guy. I agree with those who say this is clearly stalkerish and nuts, and worth laughing at. That said, I’ve done similar stuff in my past, with some success. One time I wimped out on asking a girl for her number after we’d sat next to each other on a flight. As I was kicking myself for not doing so, I spotted a car pull up to pick her up and (creepy mode on) memorized the license plate number. I then creepily found a way to track down the owner of the car who had the license plate number, which turned out to be the girl’s sister, who I knew from our conversation was a student at the college I went to. Using the college directory, I looked up the sister’s email address, got the flight chick’s phone number, and asked her out. She said yes. Creepy and psychotic? Probably. But it got me a date!
o.O
Okay, that’s a little creepy. Not a lot creepy, just a little. The difference? You didn’t meet the girl on the flight while her boyfriend was also sitting next to her on the flight. Guy in this letter gets his “a lot creepy” points from the fact that he met the girl while she was with her boyfriend.
It’s a small but really key difference.
You’re basing your opinion on the boyfriend’s side of the story only. She didn’t identify her boyfriend as such, just as a date.
“Found you! I’m not a stalker, I promise.”
Hmm……
mixed signals…
I live in Allegany. Who would want to hike here? haha
Unless he meant the state park.
Firstly, I’m not so sure whether this was written by a college guy or a kid. The handwriting is so horrible that it works just as good as a cold shower after we men are turned on. Also, I am seriously not impressed with the “above ground pool”. If he wants sex in a pool and wants it above ground so no one can see, he didn’t have to say it straight out to her on his first letter. And personally as a man, even I would think that a girl would be creepy if she said “get the hormones going…
“. Obviously this is the guy’s very first time talking to a girl (because its very obvious that he spent all that night at the wedding staring at the girl’s breasts while her man was there.) or his puberty kicks in really late and he gets horny at the very first girl he sees (which unfortunately, is this girl). Either way, he’s a very inexperienced stalker and even though I am now ashamed to be male, I would not for all the world be in this poor girl’s place right now.
“Plus it would be thrilling to go back to the college scene with a beautiful girl such as yourself. Get the hormones going…”
Yeah, thrilling for YOU.
What’s in it for me?
This is really crazy.
The rest of the letter could be a standard stupid guy, but this…
Hmmm.. So, by taking her 14 miles via jetski, he ensures that she only can go home when *HE* decides to leave!
Sounds similar to those try-and-sell-you-a-timeshare scams! Free boat, just come out here to the middle of nowhere, and take a bus to our seminar! Good luck if you don’t want to stay!
Yes, definitely stalkerish. I’d be willing to bet that this guy acted out his plans in his head a whole bunch of times before gathering the courage to actually set things in motion by placing the note.
I have to say this guy is a lot less crazy then every f-in female who’s posted here so far.
Hope the vibrators satisfy you enough, you filthy whores. Or would you rather go club-hopping without panties and have those photos placed online?
Hypocrites. Crazy goes both ways.
ahhh! it certainly does, man who is overly aggressive towards women!
You know, I’ve often wondered why it is that women who don’t want to put out, or at least not put out for YOU, are referred to as “whores.” Isn’t that just the tiniest bit contradictory?
This letter totally gives me the creeps. D:
letter written by some insecure guy .. what´s so creepy about that?
i like this page but in this case i think it´s out of place and mean to put this up on the net.
Okay, there are creepy parts to this letter but I don’t think it is too bad. For one, anyone who thinks you have to go to “great lengths” to find out information on someone (such as an address) by using google is fooling themselves. The internet makes it easy to stalk people even when you aren’t a stalker.
When I started dating my boyfriend, my sister googled his ex’s name and started telling me all this information on her! I thought that was pretty weird, not to mention why would I want to know about his ex, and my sister is not the stalker type. If she has it in her to google stock, than I’m betting everyone does…
I believe that this guy is not a stalker. The fact that he felt the need to state that shows he wasn’t entirely comfortable with his own actions and probably should have stopped himself. Stalkers usually don’t even realize how creepy they are and wouldn’t make a comment as to not being a stalker.
stalk, not stock. “google stalk” That’s what I meant to say
@mark wingate
haha! I agree… most young americans seem to have forgotten proper etiquette when pursuing love interests. It seems to be trailer trashified these days. It’s both amusing and sad.
Yeah! Syracuse! Represent!
Bunch of nitpickers here on this site. This is just a normal letter from someone smitten by a crush. I guess that’s a concept unheard of by most here, since you all seem to be cynical and full of glee. I’m still waiting for some CRAZY e-mails on this site. So far I have come across a handful at the most. Gimme CRAZY!
Now I know why so many people love this site, nice contribution. Thanks