Wow…Just Wow.
J**** ***** 22 August at 07:48
Hi R****,
It was great seeing you and your husband the other day! Your son looks so big! The reason I’m writing to you today is a small matter of concern, mainly your dog. I’ve seen the way he’s been looking at my Fifi and I don’t like it. I can’t afford to take care of puppies right now so please make sure he stays away from my dog.
Hope to see you soon!
J****R**** ********* 22 August at 14:23
Hi J****,
Ranger isn’t an outside dog and only goes outside to do his business on the other side of the house from your yard. If he’s ever outside of the yard, he’s always on leash, so he shouldn’t bother your dog.
Cheers,
R****J**** ***** 25 August at 12:42
I warned you about your dog! He raped my baby and now Fifi is pregnant! I told you I can’t afford puppies, so I expect you to cover all costs. I’ll drop the vet bills off tonight.R**** ********* 25 August at 16:11
Hi J***,
I’m sorry to hear that your dog is pregnant. However, I will not be paying for anything. There are three reasons for this.
1) Ranger has not been out of the house in over 2 weeks due to a nasty run in with some spear grass.
2) My dog is a bichon frise. Your dog is a great dane. Ranger couldn’t even reach Fifi without a ladder and a map, so rape is an incredibly harsh accusation. Fifi would have to be very willing for that pairing.
3) And really, this is the most important note: Ranger is fixed. He’s been neutered since we got him from the pound 2 years ago. I have all of the paperwork from the initial vet visit if you wish to see it.
I hope you find the father of her puppies. If not, you could sell them and try to recoup your losses.
Good luck,
R****
At 7PM that night, J**** came over to our house to drop off the vet bills. When we reiterated the fact that Ranger is fixed, he became verbally abusive and started making threats about raping our 15 month old son to get back at us. I, of course, called the police and pressed charges. Two weeks later, I received another email from J**** on Facebook.
John ***** 12 September at 12:42
Dear R****,
I’m sorry for uttering threats against you and your family. After speaking with my lawyer, I realize that it was wrong. I’ll tell you what, if you agree to drop the charges, you’ll only have to pay for half the vet bills.
Yours Truly,
J****J**** ***** 12 September at 16:54
I’ll drop of an invoice at your house if that will be easier.J**** ***** 12 September at 23:56
Sorry I missed you tonight. I’ll try again tomorrow!J**** ***** 13 September at 11:23
Are you out of town? I left the invoice in your mailbox. You can pay me as soon as you get back.J**** ***** 13 September at 13:21
Hello? I noticed you updated your Facebook status. Does that mean you’re home?J**** ***** 13 September at 17:44
Your no longer on my friend list. Did you delete me?J**** ***** 13 September at 19:56
Hello?
6 days ago we got a letter from J****’s lawyer about his intent to sue. I faxed the lawyer a copy of my dog’s medical records with the date he was neutered circled. We haven’t heard from either the lawyer or J**** since.
Submitted by: Gabrielle
@crazyemails
well I can certainly see this being plausible.
A friend of mine had a similar thing happen to her some years ago in relation to her cat. A neighbour was adamant her cat was the father and demanded help with vets bills etc. It didn’t get quite as out of hand as this seems to have done, but her neighbour was loud, aggressive etc on her doorstep and the police had to be called.
Needless to say they laughed him off the property when she produced her cats “papers” and that was luckily the end of it.
It’s called immaculate conception. That’s how Jesus was made, duh.
That’s right. It was immaculate conception, no matter what her satanic lawyer says. Trying to come after Me for child support – what’s this world coming to?
You can be such a bastard sometimes, Dad!
See you in court LOL.
I never get to have any fun.
How do you think I feel?
LOL!!!
Did someone say rape?
Uhhhhhhh… no.
Dude, seriously, what the fuck? The gay dude in the story is deranged, and the family dynamics being narrated are disturbing.
Kandi, the man did exist, that is not under question. The debate is whether or not he was of divine blood.
Botherer, abusive, ad hominem arguments are not the way to get people on your side or to sway them to follow your lead.
P.S. Satan, need a lawyer?
P.P.S. Holy Ghost, wanna romp in the fields?
Dude, seriously, what the fuck? The gay dude in the story is deranged, and the family dynamics being narrated are disturbing.
Kandi, the man did exist, that is not under question. The debate is whether or not he was of divine blood.
Botherer, abusive, ad hominem arguments are not the way to get people on your side or to sway them to follow your lead.
P.S. Satan, need a lawyer?
P.P.S. Holy Ghost, wanna romp in the fields?
Jes wanna let you bitches know that I’m the founder of organized religion. Where’d you be without this? Yeah ain’t sayin shit now mofos.
Guess again, pally. Youse mah bitch.
I wish people would start to worship me again. It’s been so long.
So you can get back to impregnating teenage hoes again? I think not.
Don’t you talk to your father that way young man!
Mary,
I’m divorcing you. You’re a cheater and I hope you have fun with this God guy. Jesus was soooo much trouble, and he ditched him on ME! Fucking prick. What’s this ‘Christianity’ bullshit anyway? Another one of Jesus’s imaginary friends?
Actually the Immaculate Conception refers to the conception of Mary, Mother of Jesus. She was conceived in the normal way, but without Original Sin. The birth of Jesus is referred to as The Virgin Birth.
I’m not trying to be a snob or anything. Just a bit of trivia.
Only Catholics believe in “Immaculate conception” of Mary. That wasn’t in the bible at all. Apocrypha is /not/ bible.
Who missed the joke then lol
What does Franco Harris have to do with this?
That’s hilarious!
Sorry to say, you are extremely wrong. Check your sources.
That’s how Mary was made, you twit. Jesus was the virgin birth.
immaculate conception was the conception of mary. dick.
“immaculate conception” refers to the conception of Mary
…im not religious, just know a lot of trivia
but yeah, this email is ridiculous
Wait, I’m confused — how is a fictional character made again?
Here here to that
Reeeeetard.
whether or not you believe in Christianity as a religion or not is your own call, and the legends/beliefs that grew up around this man, Jesus, and what he did or did not do- but there was a historical Jesus, as in, a man of that name and family who has been proven to have lived at the time. Thereby not fictional.
So while it is fine to believe or not believe, when trying to make a humorous assertion, it is best to know the facts, so as not to come off ignorant.
it can’t be proven that such a person definitely existed as it was over 2000 years ago so unless people have started time travelling you can’t say for definite that he existed. just that it was likely
And yeah, because there’s actually, really, a guy called James Bond all those movies must be true. Great logic there. You are a winner of them internets.
True, dat! I’m an Athiest, but this comment made me chuckle. So true.
I have not put much research into this topic.
If the person known as Jesus was nothing more than a common person, how could he have attained a biblical status?
I don’t mean to seem ridiculous, but is this not similar to saying any fictional character could have existed in a sense that is nothing similar to the recorded accounts? A man named Jesus may have existed but he was not the Jesus of the bible. The only common link seems to be the name. Which in arguing that one could say Harry Potter existed because there was a man named Harry Potter in England. The Jesus of the bible did not exist.
@Educated
I’m not going to claim that I know for a fact that Jesus was (or was not) a real live historical person. As I wasn’t there at the time (and neither were you). Hence, the “facts” are at least up for debate. A perfectly reasonable (though not widely supported) argument can be made that Jesus was never actually a person and that the writers of the gospels never thought that he was.
When trying to make a non-humorous assertion about a humorous assertion, it is best to know the facts, so as not to come off ignorant [grin]
You can check out this well researched paper for more details on the subject:
http://www.ebonmusings.org/atheism/camel.html
My apologies to the OP as this conversation is WAY off topic.
-Greg
Dude,Jesus is a real live person.I personally know him.
As a matter of fact,I actually worked with him for about 4 months this summer.And I must say he is an excellent landscaper.He just up and disappeared,after missing 3 days of work.I don’t know if he ascended to heaven,or went back to Guatamala.So I can say with all confidence that Jesus Christopher Perez Martinez,is a real live person.
Sorry there buddy. there is NO proof whatsoever that “jesus” actually existed.
people claim there is proof, but nothing is accepted. there are still christian groups searching for proof… soooo do more homework.
and “the pagan christ” is a good book to start with, written by a priest.
the original christ was Horus from egypt ~5000 years before your christ. and your bible, quotes almost WORD FOR WORD scripture from over 5000 years ago.
Horus’s tombs are also marked KRST. soooo all this christ stuff is just rehash.
it does not make the lessons of the spirit of Christ wrong by any means.
but I have not met a bigger bunch of hippocrites and hate mongers than the christians.
I like your Christ, but I do not like his followers. they are so UNLIKE their Christ.
wow. i never comment on these things just read them when im bored. but your this comment is definitely reply worthy. finally someone that sees religion for what it really is without totally denouncing it for its flaws created by its followers. thank you.
I don’t believe he is the son of God, but to say he never existed because there is no proof is silly. It was more than 2000 years ago!
I’m sticking with the bischon freise here.
Duh! Immaculate misconception.
@UGH
I dunno. Google it.
@UGH
Fictional character… Psh! Keep your thought policing to yourself, please.
@Anon
It is called terroristic threats and endangering a minor, and they do have ultrasounds and such for dogs. I have had run in’s with neighbors like this before. Also a bit on the email format that is how facebook does it. Sorry to hear he threatened your kid.
Of course it’s plausible. Keep in mind that the neighbour is a not only not playing with a full deck, but probably consciously lying as well (as opposed to merely being deluded).
As incredible as this may seem, many of us have seen far more bizarre examples of outrageously incomprehensible behaviour.
@Rachel (The R in the emails)
What I want to know is what happened regarding her threats to your son? That shit should get her locked up.
@josh
i completly disagry with you, when people are put on the spot they don’t really have time to come up with an argument. and he did tell them that there dog “couldent find it’s way without a ladder and a map”. that persone is a scammer who trys to get out of paying anything. and yes people can sue other people “just because” it is a free country.[but it doesn't mean the judge won't toss out the case] i for one do not think it’s a hoax
@icanrelatetocrazypeople
LMAO
Just wow is right. Sick freak. Hope he enjoys prison.
this seems way too similar to the chair stacking saga. All the neighbor’s “responses” make this seem fake
also, Rachel getting so defensive also makes it seem fake. Just because it’s fake doesn’t mean it isn’t funny, but why keep trying to pass it off as something it’s not?
How often do people *not* get defensive when people threaten to rape their children? Sheesh dude
Ugh, who cares if it WAS fake… it’s funny people!
Gawd… everyone’s a fucking critic.
It’s not so much whether this case fake or not, it’s that it is believable and there really are people that unhinged out there.
@Harrison
Actually, the Immaculate Conception was how Mary was made. Look it up.
@Harrison
The Immaculate Conception has nothing to do with Jesus. The Immaculate Conception was when Mary was conceived.
It is called this because Mary was conceived without original sin and is the only human being ever to be so.
What you are referring to is the Virgin Birth.
“conception” means to “take form”, and since Mary already existed prior to the Immaculate Conception, it does, literally, refer to Jesus. Fetal Jesus, perhaps. Or more accurately, Zygote Jesus.
The Immaculate Conception, if you’re a catholic and into that sort of thing, has nothing to do with Jesus. Anybody can tell you that. Just look it up, as one user said. You’ll find that you’re quite wrong. Immaculate Conception = Mary. Virgin Birth = Jesus…..two different thing.
Totally off topic, but…..Love your gravatar, spottedfeather.
“All hail the zygote Jesus”
That’d make a really good t-shirt.
@UGH
Troll alert.
Why no mention of the Restraining Order and how he spent some quality time in the County jail after going anywhere close to the home? Otherwise, lol. But not too hard.
You need a restraining order against that scary creep. Also, you should buy a gun.
What are all these reams and reams of vet bills? Animals get pregnant, they deliver – who calls a vet? Okay, maybe at the outset, Fifi was acting funky, you take her in, get her checked out – part of normal pet parenting. Afterthat, nature takes its course. More importantly, as someone mentioned earlier – also part of normal pet parenting – you get her spayed if you don’t intend to breed her.
I’m guessing they meant the check ups, vaccinations and other supplies needed for when the pups are actually born.
Well, there is always the possibility that the dog had to have a C-section. Admittedly, it is more common for a small dog (say, Pomeranian) to require a C-section, but it can be necessary with larger dogs, as well. I’ve helped with several C-sections at the vet clinic where I work back home. Additionally, some people have “pregnancy X-rays” done on their dogs (cheaper than an ultrasound, plus it takes more special training to read an U/S than it does radiographs).
So, really, there’s any number of things they could have received vet bills for. Of course, the whole shebang could have easily been resolved by them simply having their dog spayed, so as to prevent her having puppies they didn’t have the money to take care of. Technically they could have gotten her spayed as soon as they found out she was pregnant–sure, more expensive than spaying her when she’s not pregnant, but most likely cheaper than what a C-section would cost (were one necessary) and cheaper than the overall cost of caring for the pups until they could find homes for them.
@ghost
“Mary already existed prior to the Immaculate Conception”
That’s a contradiction in terms, as you pointed out, and so cannot be true.
Also, retard, Mary was conceived during the Immaculate Conception… not Jesus.
Jesus wouldn’t have been made without the immaculate conception
No one would have been good enough to be the mother of Jesus, so in order for the virginal birth to take place, immaculate conception had to take place. No one said Jesus was the one who was immaculately conceived..at least not in the post you copied 
How did puppies lead to preaching? Jesus Christ…no pun intended…ok yes there was
What’s Jebus got to do with puppys?
Everything turns into a fucking religious debate on this board.
Funny comments, tho
Anyone who would think that a dog is comparable to a child is a little warped. How many people would feed and water their kids by bowls on the floor? How many kids give themselves a bath in the manner of…well you know…..? How many dogs learn to read and spell and the like? None! I’m sorry, but this person’s not the brightest crayon in the box. Little miss Fifi was probably the easy lay as it sounds. As with teenagers and birth control, so should dogs be to spayed (or chastity belt? lol). Also, immaculate conception is when Mary was conceived, which she was filled with divine grace and was free from sin from the moment she was conceived so God could use her for the virginal birth. Do you really think God would let the mother of his oh-so-holy son be a sinning, earthly, evil piece of crap? I would hope not. Mary was without sin, just as Jesus, which is why she plays such a role in Catholicism today.
So then Mary was concieved in the same manner as Jesus,is what you are saying ?
And as far as Mart being holier than thou,the Catholics made that up themselves.They are breaking God’s commandments every day.Idol Worship.Nowhere in the Bible does it say to pray to Mary.Nowhere does it say that she is anything more than any other woman.The catholics have people screwed up about the religion thing.The Bible says you can pray to God anywhere,any time.Why do the catholics think that you need a go between{the pope guy}?If the Bible is correct there are an awful lot of people that are going to really surprised when Jesus geys back.And Mr.Pope is going to have some explaning to do,such as the Idol worshiping,changing the Sabbath Day,claiming to be able to absolve peoples sins (according to the Bible Only God or Jesus can do that),The Inquisition (Cathlocs have killed a lot of people in Gods name),I cant recall the name of the book right now but it was the handbook used during the midevil witch hunts and caused many women to be killed in the name of God and it was written by one of the popes,And anyone believing the pope is God incarnated on earth is in trouble too(thou shalt have no other Gods befor Me)So if the bible is right the pope and all his home boys are in a world of trouble whenJesus gets back.I used to be a religous type of person,then I started noticing all the inconstiancies and contradictions in the Bible.So now I believe in me.Also if you check all the religions Gods(Allah,Budda,Jesus,and so on),all have the same story.A virgin mother,wandered in the wilderness,had a group of roughly 12 followers,started teaching at around 35 years old,was persecuted,and crucified,rose up from the dead,and went off to live in heaven.It’s an old story.I think the Egyptians started it off and everybody else just added to it.Just live a good life,treat people the way you would want them to treat you and you’ll be okay.
“Paternity test (at your expense) or nothing, thank you good day.”
I wonder what the neighbor’s reaction was when Fifi’s puppies ended up looking like the dachshund on the other side of the street.
UGH & HARRISON. That’s not fair I don’t knock your belief to be complete wiener heads!
Wow, I see the armchair theologians are out in force today. I guess the troll won this round.
Bestiality. Bestiality. That’s the only reasonable explanation. Don’t bring Jesus, God Mary or Santa Claus into it. Just because the garden is beautiful it doesn’t mean there are fairies living there.
The Osmonds had it right “and they called it puppy love”- or was it Michael Jackson? In that case the dog being preganant has an explanation.
This was in America I’m guessing.
Hahahaha.
Many years ago, a neighbor’s female dog came into my back yard and was impregnated by my dog, who was chained to a stake so he couldn’t get out. When confronted by the neighbor who said my dog had “molested” (yes, he used that word) his dog. I told her that, if I could choose my pick of the litter, I would waive the usual stud fees. She stomped of muttering. My dog was a mongrel, hers was a purebred poodle.
Take your neighbor and his dog to the Maury Povich show.
If the guy really threatened his son like that, he’s lucky to be alive.
You should throw doggie baby shower when the dog has its spawn. A shower heals all past wounds.
Im thinkin zygote jesus probably didnt need a lot of help from mary or her body. He just made his own stuff to munch on and hit up dad for an ipod (dad has seen the future and the past and all that stuff and consequently, has an extensive inventory, which of course the kid is very aware of) in fact zygote jesus might of even known that stuff was gonna go really bad for him after he got out. I mean I’m sure dad hipped him to things going south later on. The story missing from the bible is when baby jesus was pissed that not one of the 3 kings brought him a new game controller. Imagine joe (you know joe, the guy that didnt get to boink mary) teaching this dude how to walk (”I fricken KNOW okay?”) and forget about the diaper changing (Im a fricken baby, deal with it.”) On the plus side for joe is that the food bills were low and if he forgot to tie the boat to the dock, jesus could retrieve it effortlessly. I could only imagine that jesus was a bit of a brat and maybe even a pain in the ass and that joe might have thrown a rock at him while he was on the cross.
Sounds fake…and no its not funny at all if its fake…just lame.
Nobody would name a Great Dane….Fifi. Case closed
people are crazy.
photoshopped
is this real?
WOW! Are you fucking kidding me?
I call fake. The first email dated Aug 22nd and then only three days later all of a sudden neighbor turns batshit crazy/dog is confirmed pregnant? Faaaaaaake. Couldn’t you at least have spread out the timeline a little?
please delete all the offtopic jesus and mary crap, so this thread is funny again.
I think what is worst the story here, is all your comments. Geez.
I’ve actually had this happen to me with two of my male dogs and one (very tiny) female chihuahua. One of them was fixed and the other was way to big to hit that. The kicker? The chihuahua wasn’t really pregnent. I can totally believe that this is true!
I have had a run in with a psycho neighbor. It is always important to keep receipts in case you run into these psychos. Remaining calm is also key to victory.
I know that Jesus is a myth.
There was no Jesus.
There IS no Jesus.
There will be no Jesus.
Jesus is just a marketing trick from the rich people to get us underpeople
to buy all there producs and keep from going nuts and taking t hem over.
rich televangeliss are making money on us. Fuck e’m all. That’s what I say
I love being an embezzler. I ruined my family by my thefts and fraud. Fuck Jesus.
who the heck names a great dane fifi thats what i want to fucking know
Don’t believe everything on the internet. This looks like a hoax.
HOT STEAM DOG SEX TURNS ME ON
Holy crap! there are some nutters in the world! and going by a lot of the posts here,90 percent are fucking beyond it!
One person makes a “immaculate conception” remark there, and its on for young and old!
It was a tongue in cheek remark and now its turned into a god botherer topic. Why dont people chill out and take it for the laugh that was intended?
FAAAARRRKKK! some of you have the attention span of a gnat!
Oh hi, my name is fathead, and I like…… oh look! shiney things…
It’s “SPARKLY THINGS” acktually……….moron..
You guys are all fuckin retarded. The back and forth with the “holy family” was the only real funny part of the comments. So much argument about some shitty works of fiction.
^ lunatic fringe … yes … I mean all of you
Man who gives a shit about religion. Jesus can go bend over and should a ear of corn up his corn hole. Maybe God shagged Fifi.. way to go Cap’n Stabbin
cool story bro
Geez what a moron. Hahaha this gave me a good chuckle
I think mary n josephs neighbor was a dog, and joseph got stuck for it!!
I wonder sometimes how foolish people manage to survive day to day
Thank you charles, i’ve wondered that myself.
hahaha this is brilliant one somewhat witty remark and a big religious debate explodes.
Although I couldnt be bothered reading all comments did anyone suggest that the answer lies in bestiality??
Really people? Brush up on your Bible if you’re going to argue about it.
“Immaculate conception” refers to Jesus’ birth. NOT MARYS! Mary was born of her physical father and physical mother. Jesus was born of his physical mother and God.
But anyway -
@Simple: You cannot say that if you are going to get your facts so grossly wrong. Immaculate conception is the catholic doctrine by which mary was conceived without having inherited original sin. Jesus’ birth was the Virging Birth.
How can you have a religious debate without me?
Wow, some people are real idiots. It’s funny that you haven’t heard from, though.
Namaste…what is “brush up your bible” meaning ? please telling me.
What a fuc*ing retarded. It’s the kind of people who deserve to be beaten very, very bad, so they stop acting like arrogant ignorant idiots.
Wow! that’s beyond effing crazy!!! Nutjob! Yeah, he’s luck you didn’t sue him for threatening to rape your child. Freaking nuts!