Just In Case
Look, you have to be prepared for every contingency. That’s just good contract-drafting.
Submitted by: Todd
« Previous Laser Tag? | More Fun on the Personals Next »
Add this to your blog:
» Be the first to leave a comment
-
Hearing Voices
Isengrim on Happy Thanksgiving! dstluke on Dude…She Knows… dstluke on Dude…She Knows… dstluke on Dude…She Knows… BigBadMad on Dude…She Knows… -
Sound, good lawyer,well thought out,would like to see rest of contract. Legal minds this sharp are needed in todays unpredictable world.
That sounds an awful lot like the lease agreement I signed for my current apartment, except for the apartment was the forces of darkness and I was deemed “human meat flesh” and it ended with Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn…
Strange, my uncle’s also had a similar clause. We told him that Pickman Real Estate Group was shady and that he could just buy a house with the housing market in Dunwich being what it was but he didn’t listen to us. Luckily his new room at Arkham Asylum has a much better view.
When the end of the world comes I have every intention of being aligned with the Forces of In Between. I plan to sit back, have a beer, and watch the forces of Light and Dark tear each other apart. When they’re all dead, I think I’ll move into a Bloomingdales. So I won’t need the apartment any longer and I have no intention of paying a dime of extra rent for it.
I doubt the veracity of this document.
Wow. Breaking a lease here is a real bear.
This is…quite scary, if you think about it. Depending on what the landlord deems the end of the world, he’s entitled to demand money if you sign the contract. So if he has a really, really bad day…
Also, the tenant is automatically designated as one of the Forces of Darkness? Sounds unfair – and think of what it’ll do to your reference sheet!
What scares me the most about this is that the landlord can use “any immediately available procedure” to get his money. So, he feels like the world is ending and that he’s unquestionably on the Forces of Light, and he has permission to do whatever he wants to get his money. Fun times.
As the Bible says in Matthew 19:23-24 (New International Version): “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.’”
So by collecting all outstanding payments from the Tenant, the Landlord is actually making it more difficult for himself to enter Heaven! Seems to me he should have gotten some advice from a Theologian rather than from a Lawyer. LOL
I don’t think I would sigh that lease nor would i openly rent form some one that clams to be the force of light because we all know satan is a liar and a cheat just like my landlord
Wha… How dare you!
this is awesome on so many levels XD
I say sign it! sign sign sign!
I would seriously hope that clause is just the landlord’s sense of humor at work. In which case you get a funny landlord.
If not, well good luck trying to enforce it. Either:
1. The LL tries to enforce it, tenant refuses, it goes to court and the landlord has to *prove* it’s really the end of the world. Entertainment!
2. It really is the end of the world and thus there is no longer any government or legal system to speak of. So either there’s no court left to sue the tenant in and therefore no way to enforce it… or, the tenant forks over the now utterly useless currency. Either way, tenant wins!
Plus, the big bonus, if the landlord really is this much of a nutjob then there will be oodles more stuff to send in to the site and entertain the rest of us. yay!
I wanna see that on Judge Judy
I’d be afraid the landlord was thinking of using violent means against the Forces of Darkness (formerly the Tenant), and thus not give me an opportunity for such courtroom fun.
I would be hesitant to sign this lease unless I knew for sure the landlord was joking. The talk about forces of light and forces of darkness make me think that they’re not joking, though. In which case you get a nutty landlord who might evict you because you’ve been shooting laser beams at them and burning holes in their feet.
And if it really were the end of the world, try to collect MF!
So in other words, should the end of the world occur, you have to pay the landlord a lot of money, or else you won’t be claimed by the rapture… is essentially what it’s saying.
Kinda harsh, all said and done.
Who knows if the end of the world is the end.
Good Legal point,What is the accepted legal definition of”the end of the world” this needs some debate at $1500 an hour..
Surely when the end of the world comes the least you’re gonna be worrying about is honouring a contract or being sued for not doing so
It’s shotgun time!
Hil–arious! “Gimme money… or go to Hell.” Its that simple.
You know in a similar vein the IRS has provitions for collecting taxes in the event of a Nuclear aftermath.
now way….
make that no….
way.
Of course they do.
Here’s the AP article about it. The plan was added to their employee handbook in the late 80’s allegedly at the urging of FEMA, and publicly admitted by IRS officials. I doubt it’s gone away since.
It occurs to me that if the tenant is assigned to the Forces of Darkness, then all the lawyers will be on his side. – including, presumably, the landlord’s lawyer. That could come in handy.
This is funny,but I think where I live such a clause would make the the whole contract void by law ^^
Sorry for spoiling the fun ^^
I don’t think the landlord thought it out..
Unless this is a one apartment building, if all the tenants are automatically allied with the “Forces of Darkness” and the Landlord is allied with the “Force of Light”, then the Landlord is horribly out numbered in a confined easy to guard entrance and exits location.
EPIC FAIL if you ask me LOL
The contract doesn’t say major change of world order, Rapture, or serious disaster, it specifically says End of World. That would mean the absolute end of all supportable life, and serious structural damage to the planet itself. At which point I believe the Landlord would have a rather difficult time claiming that the premises is properly maintained. Renter could easily claim breach of contract at that point and probably keep his money anyways. He would need it to bribe his way onto the evacuation ships leaving the dead husk of the planet.
Why do i have this mental picture of Keanu Reeves as the landlord’s lawyer?
I don’t know, but, if I ever have to draw up a contract, I’m going to make sure that some version of this clause is in there, if for no other reason than to ensure that the other party actually reads the contract.
Article 23. Memorial Day Barbecue
On the second Sunday in the month of May, Tenant, and any sub-lessees, shall be subject to inspection by Landlord for anticipated flavor. If Landlord deems a resident is sufficiently tasty, then on the Saturday immediately preceding Memorial Day (being the last Monday in May), Tenant shall supply Landlord a pound of fresh flesh from the tasty resident’s thigh or pectoral muscles suitable for barbecue purposes in exchange for ten dollars ($10.00 USD). Tenant is advised that they are also invited to said barbecue, to take place on Memorial Day (being the last Monday in May) if they also agree to bring no less than two pounds of potato salad.
Join the dark side…. we have cookies.
Is this landlord’s name Gary, by chance?
I’m putting this in every contract I ever take part in, ever. Just to see if the other party notices it. GENIOUS!!
Actually, that’s probably exactly what this is. Somebody’s way of checking to see if the other party is paying attention.
Actually, I’m about 90% sure my Contracts professor wrote this, the aligning forces of good and evil seem to be a daily concern in his class. Just so we all know the score, here is the break down of teams. Forces of Evil: every lazy feckless student in his class, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Henry Ford, Jesuit Priests, rich uncles, his brother (but only in matters regarding the borrowing of a green sweater), contractors, sub-contractors, sub-sub-contractors, “middle-men,” poor people and our Torts professor. Forces of Good: himself, and rock n’ roll music.
I’m guessing this was a contract in an online game, in which case the “End of the World” would be some kind of server reset.