This e-mail was from my friend’s mom (who might possibly be mentally ill) who sent a ranting, psychotic email to the Disney Movie Rewards website (where you enter codes from Disney movies to get stuff, from posters to electronics) and she went psycho when she found out they didn’t have the Mickey Mouse TV’s anymore.

WHERE’S THE TV!?!??! YOU ADVERTISE IT ALL AROUND YOUR SITE AND ON ALL YOUR
DVDS YOU SHOW PICS OF MICKEY MOUSE TVS AND I COME ON HERE WITH LIKE 200 DISNEY
MOVIES AND I CAN’T EVEN GET A STINKING MICKEY MOUSE TV WITH EARS AS SPEAKERS. I
HATE DISNEY. IM BOYCOTTING DISNEY. I HATE.IT. IM SUING BECAUSE THERE IS NO TV.
WHO CAN I SUE? I HAVE 14 KIDS WITH NO TV. IM DYING HERE. THEY TORTURE ME, AND I
NEED SOMETHING TO ENTERTAIN THEM. HELP ME. I AM DYING. I ONLY HAVE 2 DOLLARS TO
MY NAME AND 3000 DISNEY MOVIES AND I NEED A TV!!!!
BY THE WAY, MY DUMB KIDS RIPPED OUT THE CODES AND I HAVE 2000 DISNEY MOVIES WITH
NO CODES!!! YOU SHOULD USE GLUE SO THEY CANT RIP IT OUT. THIS IS AN OUTRAGE. I
SPENT ALL MY LIFE SAVINGS ON DISNEY MOVIES AND I HAVE NO TV. WE LIVE ON CHOP
SUEY ITS MY KIDS FAVORITE FOOD AFTER THEY SAW MULAN. AND THEY RIPPED OUT ALL MY
CODES!!! OH I KNOW WHY YOU DONT USE GLUE!! U WANT PEOPLE TO RIP THEM OUT SO THEY
CANT USE THE CODE TO GET A NON-EXISTANT TV!! DISNEY IS SATAN!! AND I AINT
SPENDIN NO 750 POINTS ON ‘WHOOPI’ SHOOTING ARROWS!! GET SOME GOOD MOVIES FOR A
CHANGE!! DISNEY IS A HEARTLESS CORPRATION JUST IN IT FOR MONEY!!

PS I ALSO SAW A PIC OF 2 HAPPY KIDS WATCHING A PIRATES TV!!!

Submitted by – Katy

My alternate self got me next week’s lottery numbers. Maybe now I’ll be able to afford cable.

Do You Need A Space Ship? A Time Machine?

Thankfully, you don’t need to be a mad scientist to master Quantum Jumping. All you need is an open mind, and the willingness to learn. Once I’ve shown you how, you’ll be able to use the untapped power of your mind to ‘jump’ into alternate universes, and visit alternate versions of yourself who already have all the skills, knowledge and experience you desire.

The smarter you. The richer you. The healthier you. The sexier you. They’re all out there, and all you need to do is talk to them. Sounds crazy, I know, but it works.
This Could WILL Change Your Life

Even though the country’s in the middle of a crisis, I can’t remember the last time I made a wrong decision, or found myself stuck, frustrated or ill—all thanks to the insights of my alternate selves.

Countless people ask me how I managed to accomplish everything I have. My students whom I showed Quantum Jumping to tell me the same thing. Now think of what you could do with the power of Quantum Jumping in your own life…

Testimonial

I Have Gained Confidence To Pick Up Girls

“My goal for using Quantum Jumping is to live my life to my full potential & increase the many talents I have.
So far I have gained huge confidence in one part of my life. That was the confidence to pick up girls & go for what I want. The Bagha is also really awesome. I use it every day. Not only that, I love that I can instantly reach Alpha now.
I set up conscious source foundations all the time & they work!

I would definitely recommend it to someone else who is open to it because B@#$ put so much more in those CD’s than was expected. His information can be a part of your everyday life in every aspect of your life.

I love it. THANK YOU B@#$!! You’re The BEST.”

Submitted by – Jeff

. I am looking for someone who can clean my home once a week. There is however one catch. You must clean the home in a giraffe costume. I have always had a fascination with giraffes and this just excites me. During your time cleaning the home I will toss you peanuts and carrots as if you were a real giraffe in a drive thru safari. For this job I am willing to pay 50 a week extra if you can manage to find a walrus costume and get someone else to come with you as the walrus

Submitted by – Luna

OK, then how about a cross between a Giraffe and a Walrus? This is close, right?

Submitted by – Maranda

The universe.

Most people like to believe that the universe is like all the stars and planets in space.

That’s not the universe.

That’s pretty much the matter and energy part. The universe is all the matter energy time and space. People don’t really understand the time part so they try to just leave it out of what they think the universe really is. Much more then all the stars and planets in space, the universe is really all the past present and future. People don’t really understand what the past present and future is, so they try to fall back on the idea that the universe is all the stars and planets in space.

Now show me your universe, the whole thing.

Do as I say, not as I do.

From: xxxx xxxxx
Sent: Monday, 13 July 2009 9:28 PM
To: xxxxx xxxx; xxxx xxxxx ; xxxx xxxxx ;xxxx xxxxx ;xxxx xxxxx ;xxxx xxxxx ;xxxx xxxxx ;
Subject: board reports

Hi can everyone please re look at their Board reports. I have had to make considerable changes.

Please remember that the brief outline is just that brief and is to give an outline only and is written so it can be picked up and put into a report for policy.

abbreviations and short unstructured sentences should not be used in a board report your sentences should flow

acronyms should not be used that are not common you should not assume that a board member knows these.

the use of capital letters throughout sentences is not appropriate.

please read your reports before submitting some sentences did not even make sense.

if you are going to use tables they should fit the page and be placed in the appropriate area.

When quoting numbers you write the number up to 10 then you use the number after 10

eg

four states, 23 sessions

thanks
Deb

Submitted By: Sunny P

Punctuated with irony.

Tyler, provider of today’s earlier post, has graced us with some follow-up material from our cubicle-loving, very particular, job-seeker.

Subject line: “The three resumes that will be used for 3 career types, why, and what makes me and other people in my age group tick.”

I feel as though we’re about to learn something. Here’s hoping.

After regrouping the past few days within my regrouping the past few years, I have come up with a plan. This plan involves two sides at least: the company and myself. In learning about the soft science of generations and why people born between 1961 and 1981 are having a hard time in the workforce, getting into the workforce, and interacting with other generations in society in general, I have found what kind of contribution I have a life long ability to use the correct word, survive. I am a person that was born to reinvent “parts” of the wheel; not the wheel itself all by myself, but with other people in my age group. Not slackers or “unwilling to put in our dues” or just out right “grow up”. These are steriotypes that have been scientificly proven to be obsolete by Harvard and Think Resources at the very least. At any level, it is in my (or our) physiological profile to make a difference at a micro level. Whatever part of the wheel we operate in at whatever level of the organization, I must make it better. Boomers and Y-ers will not understand, because in the history of generations, the “bookends” have yet to understand.
.
This is natural and I am using this science to my advantage. Myself assesment gives me most of the attributes of an X-er with a few Y-er characteristic due to my parenting of my teacher father not “wanting [me] to run wild like [he] [saw] the other kids.” Therefore, I had helicopter parents at a younger age while dealing with the issues and rubbing off attitudes of those I grew up around. I believe I have the ability to bridge the generational gap between the X-ers and Y-ers, because of not my mixed life experience, but how they were experienced.
.
What a company needs to look for in me and I in a company:
.
Ability to have feedback.
Ability to absorb information.
Challenge and be challenged.
A DIVERSE working environment found in corporate or corporate-like environments, but not necessarily if the company is small and have the attitude of diverse work environments.
Ability to grow AND STAY with a company that maintains a healthy relationship between one another.
Ability to try, retry, fail, and succeed at the parts of reinventing my part of the wheel to add value to the company and my skills set.
And with Y characteristics, not have to reinvent the wheel and just ride on a reinvented wheel.

The three paths are not indecision on my part, but more options to what is important and that listed above. This is what I am trying to match, though your feedback is very very welcome so I “might” improve on my plan.

Thank you for your time,

PW

All I wanted was a cubicle.

Want to learn more about our friend? He’s just getting started . . .

Click to see more… »

I work at Geico (Stafford location) and have a LOT of accrued sick time. Unfortunately, they will not let me use it without a valid doctor approved sickness, so it just keeps piling up with me not having any access to it. With the holiday season right around the corner, and me having way more sick leave than vacation time, I would like to use the sick time for a change and allow my vacation time to accrue. So, that being said- does anyone have the swine flu, aka H1N1 that is living or commutes through the Stafford/Fredericksburg area. If so, I would like you to infect me. I can come to your house or meet you somewhere, and if successfully infected- I will give you twenty bucks. This will also give me the opportunity to infect my team leader by licking her phone, mouse and keyboard- so it will be a double win for me!!

Submitted by: BettiePage

OK, this is a long one. A challenging one. For easier reading, you may want to click to the jump page for the text version. Good luck, and if you take the apartment, please forward a finder’s fee.

Click to see more… »

So “wetware” is finally a go? Sweet! I need to update my Netflix queue.

“As much as we all appreciate the latest and greatest high technology, imagine there is a guy in R**** England (for real) illegally using satellites to stalk, harass and terrorize my family and others. He uses the same concept as television, the upload/download thing but instead of computer to computer, he does computer to human. You bet it is painful! Pornography (including small children), hate crimes against blacks and other people of color, etc. Imagine those images flashing before your eyes! The fact that what he is engaging in international terrorism is beyond frightening and can be performed by anyone with a high powered computer and some latest and greatest tech tools. I cringe at the day this will be mainstream techonology. Yes, the FBI and other intelligent agencies are hot on his trail……

Imagine being fed the worst images and words every conceived, flashing before your eyes and ears with no ability to control the feed.

The person responsible is ***** *****, 40 C**** Lane R****, United Kingdom. The FBI and other intelligent agencies have been contacted and we did hire a private investigator who confirmed the above. I believe no one has ever done this to another before (upload/dowload from computer to person).

Please Steve Jobs: Do not make this your next latest and greatest invention. The tools designed by Apple and others are what are being used to perform the worst kind of terrorism known to man….”

Submitted by – Thomas